


You don't love me the way you love him

by flashlegends (orphan_account)



Series: Coldthallen drabbles [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Self-Denial
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-25
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 05:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4653435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/flashlegends
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eddie thinks that Len doesn’t love him the way that he loves Barry and leaves</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

.

 

He notices it first when they’re having sex. It’s the things that Len does with Barry that he doesn’t do with Eddie. Like when they’re done he’ll kiss them both but he’ll cuddle with Barry, leaving Eddie curled next to Barry. He doesn’t even reach out for him.

He gets it. Really, he does. He came to the party late. By the time that he got to be with the two it had been a year. Len was hesitant but warmed up to the idea when Barry convinced him. And yeah, times when Barry was gone they would curl together and watch movies and Len would play in his hair but he wouldn’t touch him while they watched. Unlike with Barry. He wouldn’t kiss him. Sometimes he wouldn’t even look at him. And that’s when Eddie had decided that Len just didn’t want him. And why stick in a relationship where one person hated him?

“I thought maybe if I tried, it would be different you know.” Eddie had told his friend, Tommy Merlyn almost a week after Len had once again coveted Barry over him. Tommy was a guy that Eddie had met when he attended Excelsior Academy. They had dated briefly and Eddie was sure that it was true love until his parents moved him away. He hadn’t seen Tommy in fourteen years.

“No. I don’t. What did you expect Thawne?” Tommy never called him by his first name. “That a three way would actually work? It doesn’t. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

Eddie looked at his friend. He didn’t see Tommy as the type. “Really? With who?”

“You remember Oliver Queen?” of course, that and he had seen the guy in town not too long ago. Eddie nodded instead of telling Tommy that he had seen their old friend not even a month ago. “Well. I tried with him and his girlfriend Laurel. It didn’t pan out.” Tommy placed a hand on Eddie’s. His fingers automatically entwining with Tommy’s. What can he say? It was a reflex. “Leave. Before you get hurt. Come with me. To Starling.”

At that moment Len and Barry walked through the door. They had gone shopping, more so Barry. He wanted to surprise Eddie.

Eddie heard the bags drop followed by a “what the hell”

Eddie quickly moved from Tommy. Their hands breaking apart.

“Who is this?” Len had asked stepping forward, mostly near Tommy. A hand clasping tightly down on the dark haired man’s shoulder. Moments later Eddie felt his hand being entwined with Barry’s.

“Answer the question.” Barry said softly, a glare on Tommy.

“This is Tommy Merlyn. A friend from school.”

Tommy looked at the two, a smile slowly making its way onto his face.

“Actually Eddie don’t’ be so modest. I’m his ex. We dated in high school. We were each other’s first.”

A low growl came from both men and Eddie groaned.

“First what?” Len added. Possibly curious, Eddie didn’t get why.

Tommy stood. Len’s hand dropping. He walked towards the door. “Everything. Think about what I said. I leave at the end of the week I hope to see you, I really do.”

With that said he left, leaving three confused people.

“What did he mean? What do you have to think about?” Barry asked. He began to rub circles on Eddie’s hand. He only did that when he was nervous.

“He wants me to leave town with him.”

-0-

Eddie had hoped to avoid them. He had even gone out his way to move to the spare bedroom, which confused Barry. He thought that maybe it was something that he did and maybe that’s why Tommy had offered Eddie the chance to leave.

“I can make it up to you. Whatever I did.” Barry had said Tuesday.

“Look I made all your favorites.” That was Wednesday.

“Len said you can top him.” Thursday. That one didn’t sit well with Eddie, given that he had abstained from them since Monday.

Friday came. Tommy would be leaving today and Barry was on edge. His faith in Eddie not to leave had become a distant memory over the last few days. In fact Barry had gone out to make a scrap book of their memories.

And Eddie felt horrible. None of this was on Barry.

He was in his room packing when Len came in. He wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist. Something he had never done before.

“Don’t go. We love you. I don’t know what we did but we can figure it out if you stay.” Len whispered in his ear, kissing his neck.

Eddie pulled away. It wasn’t right.

“It’s not---“How cliché he was going to sound but it was the truth.

“It’s not you it’s me right?” Len said instead with a chuckle. He crossed his arms over his chest. A chuckle coming out of his mouth.

“It is me. I thought I could do this---Be with the both of you but I can’t. It’s obvious I don’t belong.” Eddie turned back to packing. Len stopped him, or tried to at least. Eddie wasn’t going to let him stop him.

He wanted to tell Len about the way that he treats him but he wanted to leave on good terms with both men.

“You mean how I am with Barry. You don’t feel like I love you.”

Eddie frowned. Len did know a little part of him. “That’s only because I’ve been with Barry longer. All of this---“He gestured between them. “It’s new to me. Stay. We can work this out.”

Eddie nodded. “No. I know I’m being selfish but I need some time. To see if this is what I really want.”

“And that means going to stay with your ex?”

Eddie picked up the bag that was on the bed and walked towards the door.

“Tell Barry I’m sorry.”

Len snorted. He was upset. “Tell him yourself.’

“I can’t. If I see him I’ll be tempted to stay and that won’t be good for me. I’ll be back. One day. To let the both of you know my choice. Goodbye Len.”

-0-

“Sorry it took so long. I wanted to make it special.” It was two hours since Eddie left when Barry came busting in. The blue and red book in hand. He stopped when he saw Len sitting alone with a glass of Vodka in hand.

“He’s gone.”

-0-

“You made the right choice.” Tommy smiled as they boarded the plane.

“I hope so.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

A Year Later

It had taken a year for Eddie to realize that whatever it was that he had started with Len and Barry would never work out. He loved Barry and he loved Len, even if Len didn’t love him the same way that he did. And it wasn’t sane to stay in a relationship where the person didn’t love you. Yes, he wanted to stay for Barry but he wouldn’t be happy. Not the way that he is now. Over the last year he had found himself falling all over for Tommy and falling into Tommy’s bed six months after leaving Barry and Len.

“It’s been a year. I’m sure that they’ve moved on and you shouldn’t bother with telling them your decision.” Tommy told him. It was a Saturday, the two of them lay naked in the bed watching old movies on TV and talking about random things and Eddie was tempted to head to Central City and let the two men know. But Tommy was right. It had been a year. They’ve probably had forgotten about him. And a part of him hoped that they hadn’t.

“I know. But I do want to see them, well at least Barry. He has a right to know that I’m not coming back to him.”

Tommy kissed his forehead. “Fine, but I’m coming with you.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“I know.”

-90-

A year and up until now Barry hadn’t heard a peep from Eddie. It bothered him but Len had told him that it would be okay and that Eddie would be back. He held out hope.

And he was right to. The phone call came in, shocking them both and when Eddie had said that he wanted to see them Barry’s heart sped up.

“He’s coming back. He’s coming back to us.” Barry smiled while he made up the guest bedroom. He had a feeling that Eddie wouldn’t want to jump back into the sac with them so soon. He would need a place to sleep.

Len stood on the other side of the room, watching as Barry busied himself. He heard the call, that wasn’t one of a man who was coming back. No. it was a goodbye and Len didn’t want Barry to get hurt.

‘’It’s not certain that Eddie is coming back to us. He didn’t say those words.”

“He didn’t have to. He loves us. He’s coming back and we’re going to be happy.”

Len walked to Barry and stopped him. “Don’t get your hopes up.”

“I’m not. I know that he’s coming back. Don’t you want him back?”

“I do—“

“Then help me prepare.”

-0-

He hadn’t been in this apartment in so long. But everything was familiar to him. Everything was the same. He had told Tommy to wait in the car, this wouldn’t take long.

Eddie’s hand hovered over the knob. Barry had told him when he arrived to just come on in.

Seconds went by before he entered and was greeted with a hug from Barry followed by a kiss.

“I knew you’d be back. I told Len that you would come back to us.”

Barry held onto his hand and led him to the couch. Eddie could smell food cooking.

“We’re making all the foods you love. To celebrate.”

There was admiration and love in his eyes. That’s what would make this that much harder to do. Len stood in the back, arms folded. He knew.

“Barry. Stop. Listen. I came here to tell you that---I’m not staying. I’ve made a choice and that’s to stay in Starling with Tommy. We’ve actually been seeing each other---“

The hand dropped. The love and admiration replaced with something that Eddie had never seen in Barry’s eyes.

“He tricked you. Didn’t he? He convinced you that he was the one that you wanted.”

“No. He didn’t. He’s known me a long time. He knew this wasn’t what I needed.”

“What you needed?” Barry took his hands again but this time Barry was shaking. “We are what you need. Len and I. We’ve loved you for so long.”

Eddie looked at Len who instantly looked away. He needed to give Barry the real reason.

“ _You’ve_ loved me. With Len, it doesn’t feel that way. He held you, cuddled with you. He kissed you and told you that he loved you. He’s never done any of that with me. Ever. And maybe if I stuck around that would have changed. But he told me, he wanted to try and I chickened out. I had a feeling that no matter how much we tried he would never love me the way that he loves you.”

Tears were in Barry’s eyes. “But I love you. Stay. For me. We can…We can try this time Eddie. Please.” Barry placed a kiss on his lips. “Please stay. I need you.”

Eddie pulled away. “I can’t. I’m with Tommy now. You and Len, be happy together.” Eddie stood up. “I do still love you.”

“And I love you. I’m sure that Len does too. If you try.”

“Barry.”

“He’s right.” Len interjected. “I thought about it. And how I treated you---It had nothing to do with you. It was more the fact that I hadn’t been in this type of relationship before and I didn’t know how to act. Stay and we can work on us.”

Eddie shook his head. “Like I said. I have Tommy now. He doesn’t deserve any of this.”

“I’m not giving up on you. Neither of us. We’re going to fight for you.”

Eddie walked out the door. He didn’t doubt it. Barry didn’t give up easily on the people that he loved.

“How did it go?” Tommy asked when Eddie finally reached the car.

“It went fine. There were tears and pleading but Nevertheless they accepted it. Accepted that I was with you and that it was over.”

Tommy smiled. “Good. Now we can finally put this behind us and move on.”

“Yeah. Now we can.”

-0-

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

_“I’m not giving up on you. Neither of us. We’re going to fight for you.”_

The words echoed in Eddie’s mind almost a week later. He was back in Starling City with Tommy and living a happy life. But Barry’s words couldn’t escape his mind. They weren’t going to give up. They were going to fight. No one has ever fought for Eddie before and it left a tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach.

“Where’s Tommy?” Eddie asked later that Tuesday morning. He had woken up to an empty bed. It wasn’t the first time but usually Tommy left a note to let him know where he was going to be. There wasn’t one today and that worried Eddie. He had gotten out of bed and headed downstairs, the body guard that he didn’t need was waiting for him.

“He headed to the glades with Mr. Queen to check out the rental space for the new club. He’s going to be back later tonight. In the meantime, that interview that Mr. Merlyn told you about is in less than two hours. I suggest you prepare.”

Right. Interview. For the last year Eddie hadn’t worked and Tommy took care of him. He didn’t want that anymore and Tommy had gotten him a sit down with Commissioner Lance for a chance to work for the Starling City Police Department.

“Okay. I have to run some errands but I’ll be back before the interview.”

The body guard nodded. “Mr. Merlyn insist that I follow you everywhere.”

“That’s not---“

He was cut off by the sound of his phone buzzing. He picked it out of his pocket and looked at it. He had a picture message from Barry.

When he opened it he nearly dropped the phone. It was a photo of him and Len, near the ‘welcome to the Starling City’ sign and the words “look who’s moved to Starling.’’

-00-

Len had thought that Barry was stupid to just give up their life in Central City and move to Starling. Yet he knew what Barry was feeling. The time that Eddie had been gone Len felt it. Felt what Barry was feeling and he knew that a part of him loved Eddie. He was just too stubborn to admit that he should have tried harder to keep Eddie with them.

“I talked to Felicity and since she’s living with Oliver now she said that we can stay in her place. Which just so happened to be in the same building as Tommy’s.”

“How much luck is that?” Len smiled.

“All the luck in the world.”


End file.
